THE video

Here is 40 + minutes of footage from the trip over the course of the last few months. I have spent way too much time working on this, and am glad to finally be able to present it to the general public. Enjoy!

Last day...

Destination... Cologne!

Cologne, Germany is another huge German city. Here we were in awe of their giant cathedral which is the center piece for the city. We climbed over 500 stairs to go the the top of the cathedral for some spectacular views and photos. Here we also went to the chocolate museum, where we saw the entire chocolate making process and learned more about chocolate then I would ever need to know. One of the coolest things we did is drink and eat at a bar that is so old that it was first mentioned in texts from the 1300's. They throw beers down on the table before you even sit, and make sure that you never run out. Here we ate some liverwurst and pickled herring, which tasted much better than the "fine" French food from the fancy Paris place. Cologne was the perfect was to end our mad dash through Europe.

Destination... Dusseldorf!

Dusseldorf, Germany Is home to the "Worlds longest Bar". This means that there are some 40 or so bars right next to each other, effectively making it the worlds longest. We went to a hand full of these bars trying the local beer and having exotic drinks (I tried a "Flaming Moe" and almost burnt my hand off). The German people were very friendly and helped us when we got lost (Dusseldorf is huge!). We went up in a giant tower and took pictures of the city and the beautiful Rhine river. We also went and looked at the Old Town, which has some interesting buildings and some strange surprises (See photo). Miranda spent her birthday here and we had a whole lot of fun.

Destination... Paris!

Paris, France was an experience to say the least. This city is larger than life, everyone of it's inhabitants is a character, and every hour brought a new story. To write about everything that happened in Paris would be difficult, so I'll do my best.
French people are crazy. The walk around eating 3ft sticks of bread, they wear heavy black jackets in the hot sun, and they Drive like maniacs. The strangest thing about the French people, is that they seem to think I am someone who I am not. Maybe I look like someone famous in France, because I was constantly getting the strangest looks from people. At first I thought there was something on my face. Then I thought maybe they just like to stare. I was assured there was nothing on my face, and no one else was getting the confused looks. Soon I noticed a French guy tap his girlfriend shoulder to get her attention, he then said something and pointed at me, her face lit up and they both got really exited. A group of guys ran up to me, one of them began repeating "salut, salut!", which I am told is a greeting usually reserved for friends and people you know. Soon Erin noticed a lady who's jaw dropped when she saw me. I walked by a cafe patio full of about fifty people enjoying the sunny day (still all dressed in black jackets), at least a hand full of them were visibly freaked out by the sight of "me". This continued to happen throughout my time in France (and even by a French couple we sat next to in a coffeeshop back in Amsterdam). I am pretty sure that this is my punishment for the whole Cap'n Creepy Picture poaching fiasco. (Whatever, who hasn't taken a photo of a stranger and manipulated it to be an iconic image featured on T-shirts and G-string thong underwear.)
There was also what I call "The great Paris Dinner Fiasco"... We all got dressed up all fancy with the intent of going to a nice French restaurant. It was an extremely nice restaurant, and very busy. While waiting for our table we went to the bar, Jeff saw a half empty mixed drink sitting on the table, and asked the bartender what it was. The bartender said something in French and made the same drink for him. I walked in, and like an idiot, and said "I'll have what he's having". We then get seated, and well, we all kind of start to get sick. Erin, seemed to start feeling bad first. We tried to stop her food from coming out, and seriously pissed off our stereotypical French waiter. Soon our fish came, by now both Miranda and I were feeling dizzy. The fish did not help, and we had some problems eating it. Not eating the food pissed off the whole staff. Miranda overheard them talking "smack" about the "Americanos" We had to get our bill early and leave (it wasn't exactly "cheap" either). Oh yeah, and the drinks we had at the bar... were made with Absinthe (Damn, we are stupid).
We Did plenty of sightseeing. The Eiffel Tower, Arc De Triumph, Louvre Museum, all very fun. I got to see the Mona Lisa, which was really cool, and very small. Also hung out at the Eiffel tower, didn't make it to the top though (It's just not my scene, man). I did make up to the second level though (I took the stairs... ouch).

Happy B-day to the most beautiful girl in the world

Miranda, I love you more than anything and everything. There is no place or time I would rather be, than right here with you, right now. Thanks for dealing with my shit for another year. Happy birthday.

Cap'n Creepy

With 8.1 mega-pixels of photographic power available to me, I have noticed that small details of my photographs can be enlarged with little to no distortion. Take a look at the following photograph-

Just a normal pic of another busy Amsterdam street corner... right? Wrong! Look what happens when I zoom in a little closer-

Yeah, my thoughts exactly.... I was just as shocked as you. Go ahead and take a moment to really absorb what you are looking at before you read any further...
As you can see, the man I have dubbed "Cap'n Creepy" has invaded one of my photos (and he haunts me in my dreams, Freddy Kruger style). Who the hell is this guy? I hope he does not invade any of my other photo's-

Damn You, Cap'n Creepy! Why must you ruin my photos!. I will turn lemons into lemonade and make this a positive thing, by turning your image into an iconic black and white stencil graphic. I will then have this graphic turned into stickers and other merchandise (G-String thong underwear). I will sell these fairly priced items to my loyal readers for a healthy profit-

Also I will get really F'd up one night and and make a psychedelic Rasta inspired image of you, Cap'n Creepy. I will put this image on quality made tee-shirts perfect for men or women of all ages and sizes.

Take that! Picture poaching (and dream stalking) Captain creepy! One day when you run across an image of yourself on a tee-shirt worn by a drunken American (and his six drunken buddies), you will change your mind about invading my photographic space (and nightmares). (and you will most likely sue the crap out of me).

Click Here To Buy it all Now! All money earned goes to me! You know you want to...

Communication breakdown

Talking with locals has proven to be one of the best ways to learn about other peoples culture. During these simple conversations, there always seems to be some funny things that get lost in the translation. We were asked the other day what word Americans used for three wheeled bicycles with wheelbarrow attachments... I simply responded "uh... I don't think we have those things in America.".

There was a couple in the sauna at the waterpark we attempted to conversate with. After we realized that they speak no English at all, an awkward silence fell upon the room. I shifted myself, and pushed a foot stool aside, inadvertently making a faux farting sound as the wooden stool rubbed against the tile floor. Three more seconds go by and I reach the awkward moment breaking point, "It wasn't me." I said pointing to the stool. The couple let out a laugh and all was well. It is good to know that fart jokes are universal.

I asked for a hot tea in a coffeeshop, the man replied "There is no such thing as a cold tea".

There was a confusing exchange when a train employee was trying to tell me that the train was "finished", and I thought she was asking if I spoke Finnish. "No." I kept saying, "English!".

There was a drunk Dutchman at the bar last night who kept saying things like; "Yer jerst stooped merikans, can't tell me that time trrraveel int posslibble!", "Woo needs mer burrs?!" and "Yer ok in my blook cos yer from naar Canada... Bot I love merkans though."

The plan...

With less than two weeks before we are obligated to return home, we still have so many things to do and places to see. So, now is when we kick things into high gear. Tomorrow we board the train to Paris, France, where we will spend three days. After Paris, we go to both Düsseldorf, and Cologne, Germany. I'm looking forward to drinking a giant beer in a German hall and eating a "wurst" of some type.

5 best foods so far

We have encountered some excellent food in the small time we have spent here in Europe. Here is a quick rundown-
5- Gigantic apple-bacon-cheese pancake from the Pancake Bakery
4- Pickled Herring sandwich from Stubb's Haring (The Dutch version of the hot dog)
3- The best Asian fast food ever from Wok to Walk (I could hardly "walk" afterwards)
2- Cheese and steak fondue from Cafe Bern
1- "African surprise" from Restaurant Semhar Etheopian and African food (I dont know what it was that I ate, and the waiter refused to tell me. Because that would have ruined the "surprise".)

Also, an honorable mention goes to Cafe Letting, for having the best French toast EVER... (sorry mom).

Pirate ship postcard

I know we look innocent...

Joey was a little shy to write about this, so I, Miranda, am temporarily taking over this blog, and it's even for the 50th post!
We all decided to go to a sex show, like you have to do when you are in Amsterdam. We went to the same one that our O.A.T. recommended when we came here the first time and saw the cigar. There are eight different shows that you watch, and when it gets back to the show you started with, thats when you leave. So, after chugging the fourth drink that came with the ticket we were going to leave, when the lady on stage began looking in my direction. She must of been able to tell I had a few drinks in me, so she started to try to get me to go on stage for participation. With the help of the rest of our group, I decided to go, I was the 1st of 4 that she needed. After awhile she had talked Erin into getting on stage as well. The next was this little British girl, who looked at me and asked in fear, "What are we going to do?" I of course replied that we were going to be eating a banana... and her eyes got huge. So after the lady got a guy as the 4th, she had us all dance around stage (with a guy in a gorilla suit) before we all sat down on the stage and she turned to us, look off her underwear, peeled a banana and put it... Luckily, Erin was 1st, I was second, and thank god the guy was last, because at that point she ripped off all but a little of the banana and wrapped her legs around his head as he ate the last piece. I felt bad that Erin and Jeff didn't have a chance to see the cigar, but I think that this made up for it, and I was told if I need to make any extra money while in Amsterdam...
A note from Joey: In the interest of full disclosure I should mention that the banana was never actually put INSIDE anything (but it was pretty damn close to the "Danger Zone"). This was more of a naughty comedy act, than a parlor trick... Oh, the things we have done (and written about).

Street Music in Brussels

Don't worry, we paid him to let us film.

When all else fails, ask Rick Steves.

Destination... Brussels!

For Valentines day, we took a train to Brussels, Belgium. Here the main spoken language is French, making communication difficult (and humorous). We were lucky to have Erin along to give us a crash course in French formalities. We spent most of the first day at the "Oceade" indoor waterpark. This was an excellent way to fight the winter blues. Oceade features amazing waterslides, including one that simulates the birthing process by spitting you out blind and unable to breathe. There was also a huge wave pool, tube slides, and an adults only area with a steam room, hottub, sauna and tanning beds. Plus they had excellent cheap Belgian beer to enhance the experience.
While in Belgium we made sure to try some fine foods. Of course I tried a Belgian waffle (which tastes the same as it does in the U.S.), and some choclates. Brussels is the official unofficial Capitol of europe, making it a very busy and diverse city. We stayed on the outskirts of the city in a very small and friendly hotel. It was freezing outside and the fog was extremely thick, making photos very difficult.
There was a hilarious incident that occoured on the train ride back to Amsterdam. Our train came to a stop in a small empty town somewhere in Belgium. This older lady with a confused look on her face came aboard and looked at me, "Finnish?" she asked. "No." I replied, "English".... She became more confused saying, "No, FINNISH!". I think I responded "No, ENGLISH!". You see, I thought she was asking if I spoke Finnish, when she was actually telling me that the train was FINISHED, and that we needed to leave now... The train conductor assured us that a train to Amsterdam would arrive in seven minutes. He lied. Fourty-five minutes later we boarded another train... Which came to an end ten miles later in the next small town. When we eventually made it home on Valentines night, we were tired and went to bed... all full of waffles, choclates, and beer.